A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead Reckoning’ chapter twelve


Making sure that Dermot’s head wound has stopped bleeding, Sookie calls up Claude. She needs fairy support for reals. Bellenos the elf answers and says he’ll be coming round in stead of Claude.

If you named him after Belenus, the Celtic deity, you made a serious spelling mistake.

Bellenos is interesting, for an elf. He doesn’t seem to fit the lore of traditional European folklore (big surprise) but he is the only man so far who doesn’t appear to have any interest in Sookie. Yes, yes, we’ve met gay men before in the series, but they have always displayed an interest in her, even a joking one. Bellenos is a marvel. He also manages to pick up Dermot like he was a child and manoeuvre him about. Dermot reveals that he was able to be attacked because he removed all of Amelia’s wards and hadn’t had the chance to put his own in place. He thought sanding the floor was a much more sensible idea.

Bellenos heals Dermot by breathing into him. Um, okay. The two leave afterwards. With so many vampires heading over to Sookie’s, it wouldn’t be wise for them to stick around. After dark, Eric and Pam arrive. Pam’s been taking tracking lessons from Heidi, and gleefully announces that Sookie’s been entertaining a fairy, an elf and a Bill.  They begin to settle in when Dermot and Bellenos suddenly arrive back.

My great-uncle Dermot and Bellenos were standing in the dripping rain, each holding a severed head.

oh thats pleasant

They went out and tracked the kidnappers and butchered them. Wow. Dermot and Bellenos ought to run a private detective agency. They’d be really successful, if a little illegal.

Who sent the kidnappers? Presumably Sandra Pelt who’s on the loose in Shreveport. Or Victor Madden, though presumably he’d have done it himself or with some more style. Maybe Bud Dearborn went crazy about her being unmarried and without children and thought to teach her a lesson.

Eric gets a phone call from Felipe de Castro, so Sookie attempts some awkward conversation with Pam about her dying girlfriend. Pam is hiding something, something about Eric, that she’s been forbidden from talking about. She immediately decides that he has another girlfriend, because his wonder cock can’t be contained in monogamy. The horror! Eric comes back in, shouts at Pam again because ….. uh. I don’t know why. IT IS TIME FOR REVELATIONS.

“My maker, Appius Livius Ocella was in the process of making a match for me before he died.”

Oh no, he might leave the series. Hang on, I’m supposed to be sad. Let me find a gif for that.

Basically, for a lot of money, his maker contracted him in an arranged marriage. Even though vampires don’t go in for relationships with other vampires. And it has to be consummated. ‘Of course’. He has to put her aside because a vampire can’t have both a human wife and a vampire wife. He’s contracted to the Queen of Oklahoma. Oklahoma is one of the queens angling for some of Felipe’s empire, so he’s throwing Eric and his cock at her to placate her.

And then Bubba arrives. He’s brought Audrina and Colton to help collude on the assassination plot of Victor.

It was time to get this assassination party started.

I’d think about the other deaths later.

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