Two things of note: the blog has hit over 6,000 views! Wow! That’s amazing! And one of those views came from someone searching for Sookie/Jason incest fanfic! Gross! That’s sick!
And with that pleasant image, let’s look at today’s chapter.
Sunday morning I woke up worried.
As well you should Sookie! I mean, with Victor and Sandra after you, it’s like your life isn’t progressing or developing at all!
I had a list of questions. At the top of the list: How had Mr. Cataliades known that I would need help at that particular time in that particular place?
The mighty powers that be the author?
Would the four thugs tell the police why they’d come into the bar, and who’d put them up to it?
What would the things I’d gotten from the secret drawer tell me about my past?
She tries to solve one of these questions by phoning Mr. Cataimpossiblenametospell and trying to just ask him what the fuck is going on. He’s not picking up his phone so she leaves him a message. She then phones up Amelia to try and ask her to track Sandra Pelt. Magically (HUH HUH I MADE A PUN) Bob came back to her and they’re dating again.
Bob, this woman turned you into a cat, couldn’t turn you back, and then didn’t tell your family what had happened to you when New Orleans went through one of the worst natural disasters in history. Yeah, she’s a real catch!
Amelia offers to come up and reinforce the wards on the house and give ‘finding the bitch a shot’. You know, I always feel kind of sorry for Sandra. It must be hard knowing your sister was murdered by someone, and that you know exactly who did it but that they can never be punished or brought to justice.
Having answered two of her questions, Sookie settles down for the third. She begins to read the letter from her grandmother.
I think you;ll find this, if anyone does. There’s nowhere else I can leave it, and when I think you’re ready I’ll tell you where I put it.
Wow. That’s lazy. And it means when you were twenty five, your grandmother didn’t think you could comprehend she had sex with someone. You should have been out whoring Sookie, then you could have found out about the wonders of fairy penis.
Anyway, Sookie’s grandmother believed that God decided to punish her for wanting her life to be perfect with her husband. Wow. Again. I have no words for this. She thanked the fairy by accident, which means that she was obligated to him, so he basically sorted of magically forced her into having sex with him.
I sense the Charlaine Harris rape trope is appearing again!
And oh wait, Mr. Cataimpossiblenametospell turned up to sponsor Sookie and Jason and give them magical presents. Like telepathy.
ajasdhjksdfhjkfdhjkdfjkhfffffffff what the hell what the hell this is awful what the hell
The demon lawyer dropped off a physical present a cluviel dor, that gives a single wish in time of need. Isn’t that lucky? Also Sookie immediately tries to open it which is kinda dumb. It’s for a time of dire need. Being sat in your front room trying to twist the lid off doesn’t count as dire need in my book. She decides to hide it away.
The cluviel dor was a little more difficult to stow away, at least partly because I kept having to resist an impulse to pull it out the bag again. That struggle made me feel very— Gollum-esque.
“My precioussss,” I muttered.
i cannot believe i just read that.