A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead Reckoning’ chapter two

I couldn’t stop worrying about what I’d seen when I’d looked out Merlotte’s window: a short figure running toward the building, holding something in one hand. I hadn’t been able to tell if the runner was a man or a woman, but one thing I was sure of: The runner was a supe, and I suspected he – or shee – was a twoey.

I really, really hate the word ‘twoey’. It just looks wrong. Also, I like the fact that this latest episode of violence has triggered any bad reactions from Sookie. She really got over that torture in book nine remarkably quickly, like water off a duck’s back. She decides to not tell Eric anything, as no doubt that would only make the novel much shorter (and much more violent). Sookie comes back after having a shower to have her hair shaped.

Clothes porn time! For the delectable Pam.

You just couldn’t get any more Alice-like. She wasn’t wearing a full-skirted blue dress and a white pinafore, but she was wearing pale blue: a sheath dress, perhaps from the sixties, and pumps with three inch heels. And pearls.

Pam and Eric are also having somewhat of a barney. Pam is pissed that nothing is changing – Victor is still in charge, and their position does not improve. She then throws in Eric’s face that Sookie lives with two other men (one of whom is gay) and goes shopping with them – what kind of a husband is he? My exact question Pam.

Eric responds by trying his best to beat seven kinds of shit out of her.

you asshole.

Immanuel the hairdresser just pulls Sookie out of there and calmly reveals that Pam wants to make a child out of his sister Miriam who is dying of leukmia and Eric won’t let her.

well that came out of nowhere. PAM CHOOSE MEEEEEEE. Sookie decides to settle this as if they were a pair of fighting dogs – by pouring a very large bucket of cold water all over them. Well done smartass, now what happens when they both decide to attack you? They sort of calm down, and Sookie tells them to get out (a touch more politely than that) and is able to ignore the demands of Eric’s wonder cock for one night. Give the woman a fuckin’ medal.

The fairies come in and try to share a bed with Sookie, but she waves off their creepy incest vibes.

In the morning, even though his bar burned down, Sam is still ready and raring to go do some antiquing with her. Nice to know he isn’t concerned about the criminal investigation at all.

how long is this fucking chapter twenty more pages? oawhhhhh nooo

Sam also thinks that Dermot wants to fuck Sookie. She laughs it off, but uh, considering how every guy pretty much is into her this isn’t too far from a possibility. Also Sam is a totes expert on fairies because shifters keep an extensive textual history. Yeah, whatever. They head on over to Shreveport and check out that antiques shop with the stupid name. The woman in there is rather rude about appraising Sookie’s old goods and then puts her saleswoman charms on Sam to buy something for  Jannalynn, who has a name that makes me die a little inside each time I type it. There’s a little nonsense about whether to get her earrings or a hair receiver. And then Sam buys something expensive, only to immediately question his relationship.

i need to give up looking for common sense in these books, I really do.

Remy Savoy then calls to see if she can take Hunter for a bit, which makes me happy because I like Hunter.

Then out of nowhere Sookie talks about Bob the mormon witch cat. And it turns out that the kittens in the woods couldn’t possibly be his because transformed humans can’t get animals pregnant. I am so relieved that was resolved. I was holding my breath waiting for the answer to that question.

Then they go to visit Claude at the strip club and something is happening there but nothing actually happens so I am going to conclude here before I go crazy.


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