A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead in the Family’ chapter twelve


Judith is going to talk about Lorena’s life because this is something we are simply dying to know.

This book is padded to tedium. Nothing really happens, and I can tell it’s all going to happen in the last twenty flippin’ pages. That. Is. Not. Good.

Lorena was turned in 1788 by a man named Solomon in a brothel in New Orleans. She murdered a man who tried to leave without paying, and Solomon was so impressed by her savagery  he turned her.

The two of them practiced how to be successful vampires, tested the limits of their new natures, and made an excellent team.

Lorena ended up betraying Solomon BECAUSE SHE’S A ~BITCH~, when she murdered a child and blamed it on her maker. He almost died because ‘they were in Natchez, Mississippi’.

Burn Natchez. Apparently you’re murderous morons.

Lorena travels around, and then comes across still-living Bill. She falls in love with him and spends nights watching through his window just to glimpse him. That’s not romantic. It’s never romantic. She faked his death after turning him and then they travelled around. Bill was miserable, so after thirty years she tried to make him cheer up by making him a female companion ‘who looked very much like his wife’. That would be Judith. Anyone else getting a Cullen vibe? Judith is overjoyed that Lorena is dead and that Sookie killed her.

And she was out of the house and zipping through the woods to the south before I could say Jack Robinson.

O-kay.

And then Sookie whines that she’s ageing. And then she thinks about being made into a vampire and whines about that. I’m sure this would be very interesting to read if this wasn’t the poorest example of Harris’s writing out of all the books. It just drags on and on; it feels perfunctory, rather than something the author or the reader is invested in.

She then gets a cheque from Claudine’s estate – for one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. So any money worries she has have just been completely wiped.

In the morning, Sookie has gotten a letter from Bill, who is so happy that Judith is here.

‘And her blood, freely given, has already worked a great healing in me.’

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

not only is that poorly worded BUT BILL IS GOING TO LIVE

NOOOOOOOO

‘Judith has agreed to stay for a week so we can ‘catch up’ with each other.’

Bill you’re such a fucking sleazeball.

then there’s a bunch of boring stuff about church and people in bon temps and then there’s an anti-shapeshifter protester outside Merlotte’s. There’s actually quite a lot of them, religious nutters. I don’t understand religious hatred of shapeshifters. Where in the Bible does it say ‘thou shalt not be werewolf’? I guess it could count as magic buuuuuttt…. it’s a thorny issue. I guess religious crazies (and please, believe me, I do not describe all with religious faith as a crazy. Just the crazy ones. You know who I mean) will take any excuse.

“Animals go! People stay! We want Congress to show the way!”

Sam is a person. He’s not an animal. He’s just an animal some of the time. You people have no understanding of basic logic.

There are thirty five pages left. And nothing has happened.

This is appalling.

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2 thoughts on “A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead in the Family’ chapter twelve

  1. So, as a former Christian, I might be able to give some insight. Feel free to ignore this if you want, but I think some of the hatred – and this might be me reading too far into it – is due to the supposed sanctity of the human body (it being ‘God’s temple’ and us being in his image all). A person who can turn into animals would be considered ‘unnatural’ because humans are apparently the only natural state for a person to be in. And to change the form God gave you would be like having similar powers of God – who can do anything, which I would assume be able to change into animals (if he can be a talking bush and a disembodied voice in the sky, an animal shouldn’t be too far-fetched) – and therefore also Not Natural.

    Of course, they’re forgetting that since it’s hereditary, God made him that way. And since he doesn’t make mistakes then he intended Sam to be that way…so they really have no leg to stand on.

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