A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead in the Family’ chapter seven


This is a looooooong chapter of exposition and  explaining how the vampire kingdoms of America work. And it is quite tedious.

Let’s make it fun with one of my celebrated lists! Yay!!

  • Sookie has to explain Hunter to Eric, thus endangering her young cousin to vampiric interests. Ooops. Well, she doesn’t say that Hunter has telepathic abilities, but surely anyone would be interested in Sookie’s relatives, seeing as they might have inherited the genetic twist that gives the ability?
  • She finally tells Eric that Claude is living with her. He’s pissed about it, because he has a horrible attitude to women.
  • He doesn’t want to have sex tonight apparently.
  • The horror!
  • ‘You remember the summit at Rhodes and how a sort of strip of states from south to north were invited’
  • No, please continue.
  • Eric says that vampires were the true explorers of America.
  • Are you shitting me?
  • Anyway, they met up to divide things up to better govern the vampire population.
  • Instead of dividing the country up like a stupid human would do, they included some of the north and some of the south in every division for cross-representation.
  • That
  • is
  • stupid.
  • The eastern division (coastal states) is called the Moshup ‘Clan’ for the Native-American whale.
  • The ‘clan’ (COME ON! YOU MUST KNOW THIS WORD ISN’T APPLICABLE argh) that Louisiana is in is Amun for the Egyptian god of the same name, and Eric is all ‘oh Sookie, you fool, didn’t you notice that we all wore feather pins of our clan at that vampire summit from book seven? You fool!’
  • Charlaine Harris, stop adding in details after the fact. It’s very obvious you didn’t have any of this planned.
  • To the West is Zeus from the ‘Roman system’ and their symbol is a thunderbolt.
  • Roman.
  • Roman.
  • ROMAN.
  • WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK. IN A WORLD WITH LIBRARIES, BOOKS ONLINE, AND THE INTERNET, YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS THAT YOU GOT THIS DETAIL WRONG. It’s a small thing to be pissed at, but it’s such an easy thing to find out.
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeus
  • hey look i did better than a published author
  • To the west… again… is Narayana, and the symbol is an eye.
  • Anyway, Nevada is in Narayana, and Felipe de Castro was able to take over Louisiana after applying for planning permission to the Narayana High Council because kings and queens don’t have supreme authority and that makes me kind of sad.
  • They’re constitutional.
  • This is all really boring stuff that Sookie has to know as Eric’s wife, and he’s kept her ignorant to maintain her safety. Oh, oh, oh, don’t get me started on that bullshit.
  • ‘You don’t sound interested. You sound irritated.’
  • You have no idea.
  • Eric and Sookie then have sex. She worries about her weight. Eric kindly tells her that he wouldn’t want a bag of bones.
  • Dude. Wrong answer. That’s implying that she is fat, and that’s not something you should tell a woman. You’re lucky she’s addicted to your magical cock – if it were me, you’d be out the house faster than you could say something else inflammatory.
  • They then talk about famine in Africa.
  • Romantic!
  • Sookie gets all jumpy when Eric offers to braid her hair because it reminds her of Bill, and how he did that right after raping her.
  • Nice to see that’s finally being addressed –
  • oh no wait it’s just coming from Eric as Eric’s maker has arrived.
  • Jollies.

 

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