A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead and Gone’ chapter thirteen


At home, Sookie asks Amelia what works against fairies. This is entirely pointless; after all, she already knows full well what works against fairies, seeing as she killed one earlier. Lemon is incredibly fatal (‘a little-known supernatural fact’; in other words, bullshit you just made up) and iron is a general go-to in matters of the supernatural.

The whole Fellowship-going-to-murder-Sookie-and-crucify-her thing is not going too well. The police aren’t getting anywhere, as the surviving witnesses are obviously not confessing to anything. They’re claiming they were being shot at randomly, so they shot back. Helen, the woman talking about this situation to two young children, says she was just taking them out for ice cream, as she’s such a pleasant and nice woman, not a bigot at all, no siree. Arlene is the only one talking, but that’s not really going to last very long, seeing as she’d probably get a whole lot of jail time. It’s a pretty shitty situation that doesn’t really have a resolution.

Amelia tries to set up Sookie with Tray’s boyfriend Drake. Drake is a regular schmoe who thinks she’s pretty. Huh. How long have you been living with Sookie, Amelia? And you still haven’t realised that she cannot date normal guys? And that she is fucking Eric now? Grow a brain cell!

Then Remy Savoy phones up out of the blue to ask if Sookie can help out with her cousin’s son, as he has the telepathic trait, and is soon to be starting kindergarten. He maybe freaked out his father’s girlfriend by asking her about her thoughts over breakfast. He wants Sookie to give Hunter some training, and this makes her… talk at length about the drowning of her parents in a flash flood when she was a small child. Of course.

Hey, seeing as that’s been dropped into the narrative in an incredibly obvious manner, I wonder if that’s important to the plot at all?

Amelia pops back up and is all like ‘I FOUND A WAY TO KILL FAIRIES – IT’S IRON, ISN’T THAT UNUSUAL AND NOT MENTIONED EVER BEFORE, HUH HUH?’. You’re a very stupid witch. Iron is used in the folklore of just about every supernatural entity – including witches. Grow another brain cell! She then talks about Drake again, and mentions how weird it is that Drake looks JUST like Jason. So you think Sookie might be into incest then? And you are a witch. Why don’t you think it’s more than odd that Jason has an exact double wandering around?

Sookie knows that this is her evil fairy great-uncle, so not a good match for her romantically. She tells Amelia to stay away from him, all the while not telling her any of the fairy crap that’s going on. Ignorance is the best idea. I mean, that’s never lead to any potentially dangerous situations in the whole of human history, right?

Sensing that she might soon be made into waitress shish kebab, Sookie calls up Eric and requests formal protection as a girl who saved Felipe de Castro’s life. This is a sensible idea. You can’t rely on the powerful witch who lives with you, as she doesn’t even know that fucking much about being a witch.

Why is Amelia suddenly so stupid? I like her character. Y U DAMAGE OWN CHARACTERS, CHARLAINE HARRIS?

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Dottie’s video channel, where she reviews movies, romance novels, and the TV show Supernatural.

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