A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead and Gone’ chapter nine


I drove home more confused than ever.

I wanted to work on something that would allow me to think at the same time. There sure was plenty to mull over.

I looked at the flower beds around the house and decided to weed.

Sookie has a lot to think about like… fairies coming to kill her and how to plan a wedding to a vampire. I mean, what sort of china pattern should they get? Fang or blood spatter? She gets to work on the garden.

If he hadn’t spoken, it would have ended differently. But since he was full of himself, he had to open his mouth. His pride saved my life.

Also, he picked some unwise words. Saying, “I’ll enjoy killing you for my lord,” is not the way to make my acquaintance.

I have good reflexes, and I erupted from my squatting position with the trowel in my hand and I drove it upward into his stomach. It slid right in, as if it were designed to be a fairy-killing weapon.

And that was exactly what it turned out to be, because the trowel was iron and he was a fairy.

Jesus. Sookie, you pretty badass. She has a sort of minor-breakdown, but manages to phone up Niall and tell him what she did so he can clean up the body. Niall and a fairy called Dillon (the father of Claude and Claudine) show up and are over-bowed with pride that she killed that dick. He was a supporter of Breandan after all. They don’t offer to clean the body up as it sort of dissipates into glitter. That’s not stupid or noticeable at all.

So that was that. I was left in my sunny yard, all by myself, with a sizeable pile of glittering powdery dust in a body-shaped heap on the gravel.

Sookie potters about and then something really unexpected happens. A car begins to come up her driveway. Who is it? An evil fairy? The FBI? The killer of Crystal?

In a day full of shocks, here was another: my caller was Quinn, who was not supposed to stick his big toe into Area Five.

Quinn has turned up to be Sookie’s boyfriend again and I find his behaviour to be utterly despicable. Sookie points out that she’s said everything she wanted to last time – she told him everything when she dumped him.

“You said what you thought was all, babe. I disagree.”

What.

You shithead.

Just because you believe she’s been talked into saying she doesn’t want to see you anymore by one of her other romantic rivals, does not give you the right to say in the most fucking patronising way possible that no matter what she thinks, you’re going to date her again! She has said NO to dating you. NO means NO, not ‘Now it’s time for your opinion’. You can’t force her into dating you again! It’s insulting!

And then we get this.

“Why are you harder on me than on anyone else? Have you asked Eric to give up Fangtasia? Have you asked Bill to give up his computer enterprise? Have you asked Sam to turn his back on his family?”

GAHAAHAHAHAHHHHHHHFSDKDFFFFFFFFFF

As you may recall, I thought the reasoning for Sookie dumping Quinn to be stupid and self-indulgent. HOWEVER, what the hell is your problem Quinn? Get up, move on – Sookie was never a good girlfriend for you. She hasn’t asked those other guys to give up their lives because A, she didn’t ask you to give up anything, that’s why she dumped you, and B, why the fuck would she? Why would you say this? It makes no sense!

Anyway, Quinn carries on being a dick, being all ‘nyaahh nyaaahhh woman I’m trying to win round to love me, no one will ever love you, they’ll never put you first, they like their power over you’ and then Bill shows up.

Oh great, this just gets better and better.

They decide to fight because they’re idiots.

Quinn threw Bill away from him with all his strength. Bill cannoned into me with such force that I actually went up in the air an inch or two – and then, very decisively, down I came.

Oh, well done. Real good going there.

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Dottie’s video channel, where she reviews movies, romance novels, and the TV show Supernatural.

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2 thoughts on “A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead and Gone’ chapter nine

  1. Someone seems bitter and has low self esteem if you decide to write about something so famous in such a menacing way. That’s a shame. Seek a therapist.

    • Oh, I’m so dreadfully sorry but I already see a therapist, although I’m not sure that she deals with apparent bitterness towards fictional characters. But I’ll be sure to tell her that a person on the internet who has chosen to remain relatively anonymous has gone through all my blog posts, read where I both praise and critique the writing of a woman I respect and have said I do so, and decided that I am bitter and have low self esteem. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your opinion as much as I do. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention.

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