I hate days like these


 I don’t know why, but I’ve gone into a complete and utter meltdown today. I’ve had a reoccurance of my old problem, my miseries, and I don’t know why.

My miseries were a series of depressive lows in my life from about the age of fifteen until I was about eighteen.  Every few weeks, my mental bubble that kept me going would burst, and I would just dissolve into fits of tears that nothign could solve – until my mood changed again. I don’t know what caused them, or what stopped them so abruptly.  All I know is that they’re slowly coming back again.

I don’t want them back. I don’t want them in my life again. I can’t cope with five or so days spent weeping or wailing anymore. I can’t do anything; I can’t even write, and that’s the only thing I’m good at or really enjoy doing.  But seeing as currently I think I’m worth nothing, that no one wants, cares or even likes me, and that it’d be better for everyone if I just curled into a ball and died.

I need to talk to my therapist but I haven’t got an appointment until the 22nd. I need to talk to someone, but no one would listen.

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