A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘All Together Dead’ chapter fifteen


Sookie and Barry the telepathic bellboy spend a day trying to find an archery range where the vampire assassin trained. Because, of course, he must have learnt the skill of throwing arrows over the course of a single evening.

I hate it that so I’m cynical and analytical sometimes.

It’s not going to be difficult for them to find archery ranges in Chicago because Bill has already looked them all up for them. God bless that creepy rapist bastard.

Then Donati the security chief comes up and reminds us all that the hotel owner, Christian Baruch, is really interested in Sophie-Anne. Now I know what you’re going to say – that we ALL love Sophie-Anne – but this is really serious bizness guise.

“He doesn’t believe in women making up their own minds, being able to fend for themselves.”

I’d understand this if Baruch was a centuries old vampire but no – he’s only been a vampire for a few years, and is Swiss. Switzerland is not known for being full of misogynistic arseholes. It’s known for being full of nice people who make knives, chocolate and clocks.  I’m sure there probably are people like this somewhere in Europe, but if I were to name a country of origin based on this sentence… well, for a start, I wouldn’t try it in case of offending someone, and I would not say ‘This guy must be Swiss!’ In fact, I think their equality measures are better than most countries.

Anyway, they spend the day going around archery ranges until they find the right one. The woman working there is interested in Barry, so offers to let them look around in the evening.  They phone up the hotel to let Sophie-Anne know what they’re doing, so they won’t get mad when Sookie isn’t there to yell at them. They then have tea, and Sookie is surprised to learn that people outside of the southern states of America CAN cook. DEAR GOD WHAT A TURN UP FOR THE BOOKS.

Our first clue that all was not well at the Monteagle Archery Company was the heavy metal door hanging askew.

well shit.

Everyone is dead at the archery range. Sookie sets off the alarm, before getting Barry to drive off. Barry is understandably freaked out by her practical response to all this, and then Eric finds time to butt in again by telling him off for telling at his Sookie.

Do you ever do anything other than turn up and spout sentences before running off, Eric?

There’s some more talking, which is boring, and then Sookie decides she needs to be more direct and active in her life to solve her problems. I have a solution: stop being mean to people. You’ll find they’ll magically treat you so much better. She goes up to her room to change for the court cases this evening, so we’ll conclude with some more clothes porn.

[…] changed into a bronze silk blouse and tobacco-coloured pants with a matching cardigan and put on some brown leather pumps.

Dottie Smith’s video channel, where she reviews movies, romance books, and the TV show ‘Supernatural’

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