A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘All Together Dead’ chapter fourteen


Interesting news first.

You can’t see it brilliantly, but that is a brand new nose hole. It hurts a bit, but not as much as the overwhelming urge to itch it does.

Anywho, on with the latest chapter.

Batanya killed the assassin with a throwing star.

Take me to your home planet Batanya. Could you love an asexual?

This vampire wasn’t firing the arrows from a bow; he was throwing them, which was why he’d managed to remain inconspicuous.

Only a vampire could throw an arrow and kill someone. Perhaps only a Britlingen could throw a razor-sharp star in such a way as to decapitate a vampire.

Quinn was hit in the shoulder, so he’s cool about the whole thing. Sookie does some rudimentary first aid and Eric is all ‘he’s going to heal BUT I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT’.

yeah what’s your excuse why you didn’t? With your vampire senses and all?

Then he acts like a stellar bastion of sorta-humanity by asking Sookie whether she loves Quinn (which you her credit, she says she needs time) and then asks her whether she loves him. TIMING. TIMING. Why does no one have timing?

Anyway, Eric asks her to check out archery places in the daytime to find out how the dead vampire trained and who got him to kill the vampire mook from Arkansas.

Oh and we find out about the Ancient Pythoness.

“The Anicent Pythoness is the original oracle that Alexander consulted.”

so many problems there with someone who has any knowledge of ptolemaic egypt that i don’t even want to start otherwise i could explode

And then Sookie heads on to the vampire ball to go and dance in her pretty dress while her boyfriend who took an arrow for her is rushed off to be given emergency care.

That seems really rather heartless, even for her.

There are some pretty dancers, and then Eric dances with Sookie and they fly and it’s *~sooo magical~*. Eurgh. She can also tell how Gervaise, vampire sheriff, is feeling but not much more is made of this.

She also meets a guy who can predict the weather – presumably he was the guy who got the summit delayed until after Hurricane Katrina – and she sends him off to meet Sophie-Anne, and probably gets him and his wife killed.

Sookie goes off to dance some more, whilst still not thinking about Quinn.

“What are you doing?” Eric asked, and he wasn’t being facetious. He was glacial with disapproval.

“Dancing, why? […] I was having a good time,” I protested.

“You were twitching your assets in front of every male in the room,” he said, “Like a…”

“You hold up, buddy! You stop right there!” I held up a finger, warning him.

“Take your finger out of my face,” he said.

Okay, I’m going to ask you guys a question, and I hope I get some honest replies. The question is: why exactly are we supposed to like Eric? He is meant to be this charismatic, charming lover, but instead, he comes off as either annoying, frustrating, or the biggest cock in the history of cocks. He spends his time either bitching at Sookie and throwing his toys out the pram, or talking to her or about her as if she’s some sort of possession. He is not likeable at all. In fact, the only likable contenders attempting to date Sookie so far have been Alcide and Quinn; Alcide became creepy so as to stop him from being with Sookie, and Quinn…. well, we barely get any time spent with him, developing his character. Eric and Sookie deem destined to be together, but I can’t see why. Although, to be frank, with how horrible Sookie is lately maybe she wants to have a boyfriend who doesn’t seem to respect her.

She talks to Jake Purifroy, who is sad, and then FINALLY goes to see Quinn, and things are all awkward between the two of them because he thinks Sookie and Eric are fucking. Thing aint good. I don’t think they’re going to be a couple for very long.

Then Clovache, one of the dimension aliens, comes up to Sookie and says the Fellowship are going to launch an offensive against the hotel.

hang on

bomb outside a room

weird luggage that belongs to no one

it’s a bomb plot isn’t it

hmmm

well whatever

Dottie Smith’s video channel featuring movie reviews and recaps for the TV show Supernatural

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