A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘All Together Dead’ chapter two


“Halleigh, since you’re marrying a policeman, maybe you’ll be able to tell me… just how big is a cop’s nightstick?” Elmer Claire Vandry asked.

oh god it’s a bridal shower. I’ve been to some bachelorette parties in my day, and they are the literal embodiment of hell on earth.  Urgh.  So many sex jokes, so many penis cakes. You never look at middle aged women in the same way. Anyway, Caroline Bellefleur had a massive heart attack and then broke her hip.  The Bellefleur double wedding had meant to happen months ago, because of her ill health, but the broken hip set back the wedding for half a year.  I feel really sorry for the Bellefleurs here.  No one ought to have to go through that.  It’s damn lucky that Sookie even got an invite to Halleigh’s bridal shower, since she’s been horrible to Andy and Portia pretty much every time they’ve met.  Sookie is unconvinced about the match between Halleigh and Andy, as they’ve only been dating since Dead as a Doornail, which took place in January, and this takes place in September.  Eep. That’s not enough time to decide to get married.

We were all in our party best, of course, and Halleigh looked very cute and young in her light blue pantsuit with pink roses splashed on the jacket. She was wearing a corsage, of course, as the honoree. [The editor ought to have picked up the close repetition of the phrase ‘of course’]

I was wearing a sleeveless tailored white blouse, yellow slacks, and orange-and-yellow sandals, and my hair was down and flowing smoothly past my shoulder blades. Yellow earrings and a little gold chain tied me all together.

All together…. dead?

Actually, I think that might be the first Dottie approved outfit of the books.  That’s pretty nice.

Selah Pumphrey is at the party and is all like ARGHHH I HATE YOU SOOKIE which is kinda dull. Tara Thornton is there as well, and it’s nice to know that Sookie thinks so much about her friend who was violently beaten that we hadn’t seen her properly for most of the last book.  Halleigh, sensing Selah’s attitude, asks Sookie about Claude and whether they’re still ‘dating’. Sookie giggles and starts talking about Quinn, and Halleigh makes Portia invite Quinn to the wedding.

I had a happy mental picture of Quinn transforming into a tiger at the reception. I smiled at Portia all the more brightly.

You are a mean person.

Some of the women begin to ask her about Amelia, and how she got to Bon Temps, so she decides to just say that Amelia had a bad breakup from a mormon boyfriend. She leaves the shower and there’s a delicious surprise on her doorstep.

Quinn was here – Quinn there weretiger, who made his living arranging and producing special events for the world of the weird – Quinn, my honey.

Amelia goes out to leave them with some alone time, in the most obvious why-don’t-you-two-have-sex-hurr-hurr-hurr bit I’ve ever read.  Quinn and Sookie sort of pounce on each other, after Sookie categorically states she is not a one night stand kind of gal.  Romance novel sex ensues.

His nipples were surprisingly dark and (not so surprisingly) very hard. Oh, boy – right at my eye level.

I get a lot of hits from people looking for nipples.  Hope that makes you guys happy.

Quinn’s appetite was as outstanding as his equipment.

He enjoyed dessert so much, he came back for seconds.

Lovely.

Two videos for you today! The two concluding parts of episode five of Hex for ya to enjoy.

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One thought on “A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘All Together Dead’ chapter two

  1. It’s okay by me to see a couple having sex who are obviously happy to be doing so with each other (fuck you very much LKH).
    Though I must admit to sharing your confusion about this obsession with male nipples. I mean, I guess if men enjoy having them played with, then that’s good? I have never had a guy tell me that, but then I haven’t really asked. I’m fine with appreciating female breasts and nipples I suppose, but men’s don’t really send me into a frenzy of desire. Weird.

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