A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter twenty one

Once Quinn knew what he was doing, Quinn was relentless.

“I’m going to change.” He stripped quickly and efficiently, rolling the clothes into a compact (but sopping) bundle and handing them to me to carry. Quinn’s body was a work of art, though a scarred work of art [is there any need to repeat the phrase?]. He was one large block of muscle, from his calves to his neck.

“Oh, boy,” I said. “You look better than a Happy Meal to a three year old.”

omg omg i wish i knew who was playing quinn in the next season of true blood. i totally could have done a neat photoshop of his head on a happy meal.

If Quinn had been a gorgeous naked man, he was an equally beautiful tiger.

Sookie and the tiger walk through the swamps.  She notes that the wildlife apparently recognises him as a tiger, although that is incredibly unlikely.  They walk until they see the van of their abductors, parked outside a small old farmhouse.  Sookie hides Quinn’s clothes before she sneaks into the van and steals the stun gun. They crawl around the outside of the house, until they find a window to peep into, revealing to us, the reader, just who was behind Sookie’s abduction, and possibly the were attack back in Shreveport.

The older Pelts, Sandra and Gordon, were sitting on an “early American” loveseat dating from the sixties, and their body language clearly proclaimed their unhappiness. Their daughter Sandra paced back and forth in front of them.


no seriously what

it’s all back to the Pelts again?? What’s wrong with them? I understand they’ve lost a child, but this is really far too excessive.  Although Sookie did murder their daughter…

Sandra was dressed for trolling for cute guys ar the mall, rather than torturing a couple of people. But torturing was what she’d been planning to do. There was a straight-backed chair crammed into the room, too, and it had straps and handcuffs already attached.

That’s not right.

She’s looking straight into the eyes of some guy at this point, and he spills coffee all over himself, so Sookie fires the stun gun.  The Sandra comes in, and because stun guns take time to recharge Sookie pounces on her.

Sookie really beats her, having seen an awful lot of bar fights through the years and is very prepared to fight dirty.  To be fair, she fights like me, if I were ever to get into a fight. Which I never have been. Then Eric turns up, and I very nearly wrote ‘turns on’, but that’s quite true as he is rather interested in watching Sandra and Sookie fight.

In a second, she freed one of her arms and swung it back to get momentum for her punch. But Eric dropped to his knees and caught the hand before it could fly at my head. He squeezed the fist he’d caught, and she screamed. And shut up – and quit struggling.

Then for some inexplicable reason, Sookie’s newfound fairy blood is brought up.  Eric is very relieved that that’s why he appears to care for her and love her, and Sookie goes off on one as now is CLEARLY the best time for this. She then goes off to find Quinn.  As you do.

“Fuck you bitch,” the charming Sandra called after me, and shrieked again, as Eric made it clear he didn’t care for name calling.

Sandra is bound up in the torture chair, and the older Pelts are brought in for questioning.  They were going to torture Sookie until they found out the truth of the whole Debbie Pelt business as the family could not rest until they knew what happened.  Sookie tells them the whole story and they… react rather well to it. Sort of like ‘well shucks, that’s bad, but that’s like our Debbie!’  They turned the half-bitten weres that attacked Sookie and Quinn in Shreveport, and it’s not like it matters, Sookie wasn’t even friends with the Shreveport packmaster!

i don’t like these people.

oh and they sent Tanya Grissom to Bon Temps… because that was something that really needed explaining.  Wow, that felt entirely tacked on.

Gordon Pelt forgives Sookie, and says if Sandra tries to kill her again, he’ll kill her. Great parenting there.

If he grew ill, or if he died, Sandra wouldn’t feel bound by this agreement, I felt pretty darn sure.

The Pelts are going to come back in another book aren’t they


Dottie Smith’s video channel – give it a whirl today!


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