A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter fifteen

I needed boxes, that was for sure.  So I’d also need strapping tape, lots of it, and a Magic Marker, and probably scissors.  And finally, I’d need a truck to take whatever I salvaged back to Bon Temps.

It’s a big old moving day, as Sookie begins to sort through Hadley’s possessions, to see what she wants to keep and what she wants to give to charity.  I like that she’s giving most of it to charity. It makes me happy.  She can’t keep most of the clothes (as Hadley was slimmer and had different colouring) and she’s not too fussed about Hadley’s rather awesome CD collection or computer. She gets hungry, but oh yeah, there’s no human food in the place because Hadley was a vampire. Whoops.

Next to clean out – the linen cupboard.

I tried to shake out the towels, but they’d dried in a stiff crumpled mass. Exasperated, I jerked at the protruding edge of one towel, and with a little resistance, the clots of stuff binding the folds together gave, and the medium blue terrycloth spread out before my eyes.

The fluid that had dried and clumped on the towels was blood.

“Oh, Hadley,” I said.  “What did you do?”

The body was in the walk-in closet in the hall.

There was no odor at all, though the corpse, a young man, had probably been there for the whole time my cousin had been dead.

You remember that stasis spell that Amelia cast? It meant she sort of sealed up the body so it didn’t rot or anything.  The dead body is Jake Purifoy, a were who worked security for the queen’s wedding.  So he’s been there a looooong while.  He was the guy who ferried Hadley around for the wedding, so must have died at least a day before she did.  Amelia suggests they call the queen, while Sookie reminisces about when she hid a body with Alcide.

Amelia does not react well to that piece of news.

“Call the queen’s place. Tell them to send someone over right now.

I could see the fingers of the corpse twitch.

Jake Purifoy was after us, and he was hungry.

Jake grabs Amelia’s ankle and begins chowing down on her leg.  Sookie hits him in the head, which does nothing, then beats him in the head with a fancy candlestick.  He lets go of Amelia… only to now start attacking Sookie.  She throws her arm across her neck in time, so he begins feeding from her arm instead of her throat.

Another hunger was wakening in the new vampire, and I felt its evidence pressing against my thigh. He freed a hand to begin yanking at my pants.






Amelia casts a fire spell on Jake and he stops trying to rape Sookie, thank GOD and then the vampire police come in.  Unfortunately, they thought Sookie and Amelia were attacking Jake (LULZ IRONY) so pound them into the wall.  Yikes.  But they cotton onto the whole Jake problem, and sort of break his face in.  Gotta love that vampire justice.

Was this the second body I’d found in a closet, or the third? I wondered why I even opened closet doors any more.

The gals are taken to the local emergency room, and everyone’s favourite vampire pops in to visit Sookie.  This is just what this book needs, more odd men.  Eric is still pissed about the whole vampire summit situation because he’s in the midst of a real chin wobble.

“Leave me alone, okay? You don’t have a claim on me.  Or a responsibility to me.”

“But I do.” He had the gall to look surprised.  “We have a bond. I’ve had your blood, when you needed strength to free Bill in Jackson. [Surely that was meant to say ‘You have had my blood’ otherwise that makes no sense.] And we’ve made love often, according to you.”

jesus christ move on dude

Bill then turns up, oh yes oh yay, and Eric and him have a few paragraphs of metaphorically comparing cock sizes until Eric asks him to tell Sookie why he came back to Bon Temps.  I thought it was because his family line had died out.  Wait, what?  Are there MYSTERIOUS BACKSTORIES and SHENANIGANS afoot?

“Apparently, Hadley talked about you and your gift a lot, to impress the queen and keep her interest. And the queen knew I was originally from Bon Temps. On some nights, I’ve wondered if she sent someone to kill the last Compton and hurry things along. But maybe he truly died of old age.”

“She ordered me to return to my human home, to put myself in your way, to seduce you if I had too…”

“She wanted your gift harnessed for her own use.”

oh my god

oh my god

oh my god

i literally cannot believe this


So Sookie basically has a sort of mental breakdown.  She declares that she never wants to see Bill again, then runs out of the hospital, out into the streets of New Orleans, and screaming at each and every person who comes near her and talking about how crazy she is.

His passion had been artificial.

His pursuit of me had been choreographed.

She breaks into Hadley’s apartment and curls into bed.  With a sort of still open wound.


What a chapter.

Take a break from all this drama, and watch my latest Supernatural review!


2 thoughts on “A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter fifteen

  1. I have to say, I thought of you, this blog, and my previous ranting on ‘rape as a plot point’ as I heard this chapter. I was sooooo annoyed. Rape isn’t funny, or cute, and when used just for dramatic purposes it pisses me the fuck off. Sookie seems to get almost raped (or actually raped) in every damn book, and the whole ‘fairy blood’ element seems like a weak excuse for the idea. I’m sorry if it is the ‘femenazi’ side of me freaking out, but the trivialization of it via constant reference seems to sexualize it, because it makes it seem like ” That’s just what happens when you’re a hot, irresistible woman.” Sookie is sooooo irresistible that every man just has to rape her. Conversely, it seems like an insult to men that every man is a hidden rapist who can’t control himself when around such a tasty piece of ass (see the weres later in the book.)

    It just smacks too much of glorifying rape, putting the onus on the woman for being too seductive, and that makes me furious.

    Not to mention that the vampires are almost given a free-pass for the rapeyness, because, like, they totally can’t help it and stuff, since they are just releasing the beast. NO. No. For one thing, if they are that animalistic, she needs to get the hell away from all of them, because a rapid dog is always one pet away from biting. That is just how it is. For another, the ‘he just can’t help himself’ concept (especially paired with the ‘she is just so damn seductive element) is apologist bullshit that spits in the face of the plight of women everywhere to see rape as an act of cruelty, humiliation, subjugation and violence. The fact that it is tossed so casually into these novels, like rape-porn, makes me sick.
    Don’t freaking glorify it, for cripes sake!

    • Every book seems to have some sort of mention of rape or an attempted rape, and I really dislike it. The vamps can’t help themselves. All the men who are her enemies want to rape her because she’s so desirable. Fairy blood bullshit some more. Casual talk of rape just makes me cringe. It’s something serious that deserves to be well, talked about with some degree of respect, rather than being like water on a duck’s back.

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