I needed boxes, that was for sure. So I’d also need strapping tape, lots of it, and a Magic Marker, and probably scissors. And finally, I’d need a truck to take whatever I salvaged back to Bon Temps.
It’s a big old moving day, as Sookie begins to sort through Hadley’s possessions, to see what she wants to keep and what she wants to give to charity. I like that she’s giving most of it to charity. It makes me happy. She can’t keep most of the clothes (as Hadley was slimmer and had different colouring) and she’s not too fussed about Hadley’s rather awesome CD collection or computer. She gets hungry, but oh yeah, there’s no human food in the place because Hadley was a vampire. Whoops.
Next to clean out – the linen cupboard.
I tried to shake out the towels, but they’d dried in a stiff crumpled mass. Exasperated, I jerked at the protruding edge of one towel, and with a little resistance, the clots of stuff binding the folds together gave, and the medium blue terrycloth spread out before my eyes.
The fluid that had dried and clumped on the towels was blood.
“Oh, Hadley,” I said. “What did you do?”
The body was in the walk-in closet in the hall.
There was no odor at all, though the corpse, a young man, had probably been there for the whole time my cousin had been dead.
You remember that stasis spell that Amelia cast? It meant she sort of sealed up the body so it didn’t rot or anything. The dead body is Jake Purifoy, a were who worked security for the queen’s wedding. So he’s been there a looooong while. He was the guy who ferried Hadley around for the wedding, so must have died at least a day before she did. Amelia suggests they call the queen, while Sookie reminisces about when she hid a body with Alcide.
Amelia does not react well to that piece of news.
“Call the queen’s place. Tell them to send someone over right now.”
I could see the fingers of the corpse twitch.
Jake Purifoy was after us, and he was hungry.
Jake grabs Amelia’s ankle and begins chowing down on her leg. Sookie hits him in the head, which does nothing, then beats him in the head with a fancy candlestick. He lets go of Amelia… only to now start attacking Sookie. She throws her arm across her neck in time, so he begins feeding from her arm instead of her throat.
Another hunger was wakening in the new vampire, and I felt its evidence pressing against my thigh. He freed a hand to begin yanking at my pants.
I SAID NO MORE RAPE
Amelia casts a fire spell on Jake and he stops trying to rape Sookie, thank GOD and then the vampire police come in. Unfortunately, they thought Sookie and Amelia were attacking Jake (LULZ IRONY) so pound them into the wall. Yikes. But they cotton onto the whole Jake problem, and sort of break his face in. Gotta love that vampire justice.
Was this the second body I’d found in a closet, or the third? I wondered why I even opened closet doors any more.
The gals are taken to the local emergency room, and everyone’s favourite vampire pops in to visit Sookie. This is just what this book needs, more odd men. Eric is still pissed about the whole vampire summit situation because he’s in the midst of a real chin wobble.
“Leave me alone, okay? You don’t have a claim on me. Or a responsibility to me.”
“But I do.” He had the gall to look surprised. “We have a bond. I’ve had your blood, when you needed strength to free Bill in Jackson. [Surely that was meant to say ‘You have had my blood’ otherwise that makes no sense.] And we’ve made love often, according to you.”
jesus christ move on dude
Bill then turns up, oh yes oh yay, and Eric and him have a few paragraphs of metaphorically comparing cock sizes until Eric asks him to tell Sookie why he came back to Bon Temps. I thought it was because his family line had died out. Wait, what? Are there MYSTERIOUS BACKSTORIES and SHENANIGANS afoot?
“Apparently, Hadley talked about you and your gift a lot, to impress the queen and keep her interest. And the queen knew I was originally from Bon Temps. On some nights, I’ve wondered if she sent someone to kill the last Compton and hurry things along. But maybe he truly died of old age.”
“She ordered me to return to my human home, to put myself in your way, to seduce you if I had too…”
“She wanted your gift harnessed for her own use.”
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
i literally cannot believe this
So Sookie basically has a sort of mental breakdown. She declares that she never wants to see Bill again, then runs out of the hospital, out into the streets of New Orleans, and screaming at each and every person who comes near her and talking about how crazy she is.
His passion had been artificial.
His pursuit of me had been choreographed.
She breaks into Hadley’s apartment and curls into bed. With a sort of still open wound.
What a chapter.
Take a break from all this drama, and watch my latest Supernatural review!