A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter fourteen


Someone was pinching my toe and saying “Wake up! Wake up!”. A woman I didn’t know was standing at the foot of the bed.

“Who the hell are you?” I was irritated, but not scared.  She didn’t look dangerous.  She was about my age, and she was very tan. Her chestnut hair was short, her eyes a bright blue, and she was wearing khaki shorts and a white shirt that hung open a coral tank top.

“I’m Amelia Broadway. I own the building.”

So you thought it appropriate to break in while she was sleeping just so you could talk to her?  In what world is that normal, acceptable behaviour?  Amelia was Hadley’s landlady and she is not a tactful person, calling Hadley ‘pretty awful’ to Sookie’s face.  I’m sure you’re expecting me to make some pithy comment about the failures of her upbringing, but seeing as how I know a lot of people who are that tactless I think it’s quite realistic.

Sookie’s not prepared to deal with her until she’s had some coffee, and figures that as Hadley was a coffee freak when she was alive, she was bound to have kept some about the place when she was a vampire.  Just because I guess.  On finding that the fridge is full of bottles of True Blood, Sookie has a little moment.

Amelia’s a witch by the way.  She was the one who cast the spell on the flat.  She’s very proud of this, and proud of making a living through magic.  Sookie finds it very easy to read her mind – she’s a very clear broadcaster.  Sookie asks her to help her clear out the place, and Amelia agrees, saying she’ll be glad to get of Hadley’s stuff, as it’s been giving her the creeps and people keep trying to break in.

I spy an important plot point.

We then get a hefty wodge of explaining how Hadley died and why Sookie is, you know, actually in New Orleans, something which should have been done waaaaaayyyyyy back in chapter one.

Waldo, one the queen’s favourite – not in bed, but as a lackey, I thought – had resented being supplanted by my cousin Hadley.  When Hadley remained in favour with the queen for an unprecedented length of time, Waldo lured her to St. Louis Cemetery Number One with the ruse of pretending they were going to raise the spirit of Marie Laveau, the notorious voodoo queen of New Orleans.  Instead, he’d killed Hadley and blamed it on the Fellowship of the Sun.

Thanks for finally bothering to explain what the fuck was going on. Real appreciated.

Amelia then does a tarot reading on Sookie and manages to work out that Sookie is a telepath, which freaks her out because she’d assumed she was just a human and hadn’t known anything about the supernatural world.  Despite having an in-depth and lengthy conversation about the supernatural world.  This manages to burst her confidence bubble somehow, I don’t know, Sookie says she was showing off, but she wasn’t, and i don’t care i don’t care why doe ms harris just stick random stuff into the narrative and hopes it sticks?

Dottie Smith’s video channel – click here for fun!

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