A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter ten


They didn’t even rate the front page.

Two juveniles awaiting transport from the holding cells to the Juvenile Facility were killed last night sometime after midnight.

At some point, the two were strangled by a person or persons unknown.

Pleasant.  And not at all ominous.

Sookie is in a very bad mood, which is only added to as Selah Pumphrey comes into Merlotte’s to meet Bill.  She really hates the place, and isn’t overly keen on Sookie.

The way she’d heard it, I hadn’t even gone to college, and furthermore, my grandmother had gotten murdered.

That made me sleazy, I guess.

I love it when Sookie is allowed to be witty, because she can do a good one-liner. It proves that yes, she is clever, rather than us being beaten over the head with protestations of her intelligence with nothing to show for it.

We also learn that Sookie is on her period in this book. This is I believe her first period that had been mentioned, and it leads to a particularly nasty bit of narrative, when Bill comes into Merlotte’s.

I glanced over at Bill and caught him staring at me, his nostrils flaring. He could smell the blood. A wave of acute embarrassment rolled over me, turning my face red. For a second, I glimpsed naked hunger on his face, and then he wiped his features clean of all expression.

Oh that’s nasty. I did not need to know that. Thank you for putting the knowledge of this in my brain.  And as far as I know, this is the only mention of ‘hey, what exactly does happen in vampire/human relationships when a woman is on her period?’ It is a question I would like to be addressed eventually. Just not like this please.

Another vampire comes n, a very beautiful woman called Felicia, who has been sent to introduce herself to Sookie by Pam.  She’s the new bartender at Fangtasia.

“She said you had a habit of killing the bartenders of Fangtasia. She said I must come to beg your mercy. But you just seem like a human, to me.”

I love you Pam. I seriously do. Marry me.

Felicia is going to serve as Miss Exposition for the book, explaining what I’m guessing is going to be a large part of the plot.  She’s come from Arkansas because the king, Peter Threadgill, has married the Queen of Louisiana, Sophie-Anne Leclerq (who has been mentioned, but not seen before). Peter isn’t a particularly great guy; it’s not enough that he’s the oldest, strongest vampire in the state, or that he became king, or that he’s married to a beautiful vampire – no, she’s got to love him too. The fool. Threadgill is currently in New Orleans to visit the queen.

Felicia leaves, having served her plot point, and says that she won’t allow Sookie to kill her, now she knows who she is.

Arlene, Sookie’s older friend who hasn’t really been important to the ongoing narrative of the series since book one, finds this very annoying.  She thinks Sookie ought to shun the dead, and embrace the living. She’s part of the Fellowship of the Sun now.  Joy.

Dottie’s video channel – visit it today!

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