A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Definitely Dead’ chapter nine


I felt like making a crappy header. Because that’s how I roll.

The Hair of the Dog is warded by such strong magic that Sookie actually cannot physically enter the building. Quinn scoops her up, bridal style, to carry her over the threshold.  It’s explicitly stated to resemble Rhett and Scarlett O’Hara, something Sookie has mentioned time and time again, so we know she finds it attractive.

“Humans are not allowed in this place!”  A very young woman leaped across the bar in one muscular surge and strode forward.

Well, I guessed that lady, judging by the spell outside, but if you’d let me explain –

She was wearing fishnet stockings and high-heeled boots, a red leather bustier – well, a bustier that wished it was made of red leather, it was probably more like Naugahyde – and a black band of cloth that I supposed she called a skirt.  It was like she’d pulled a tube top on, and then worked it down.  It was so tight I thought it might roll up all at once, like a window shade.

…. well, isn’t that a pleasant outfit.

She didn’t like my smile, correctly reading it as a comment on her ensemble.

Oh shit.  That wasn’t the wisest decision as the werewolf decides to beat up Sookie.  Sensing trouble, the bartender pulls out a shotgun, as that’s an entirely appropriate reaction.

Way to go Sookie. Couldn’t you stop being a judgemental bitch for once?

Sookie says they come in peace and this is found to be hilariously funny by all apart from window shade girl, who remains decidedly frosty.  The bar is owned by Amanda, a werewolf we’ve met before (she was the one who called Sookie a ‘vamp humper’ in Dead to the World) and talks about how honoured she is by having Quinn in her bar, setting up that he has some sort of mysterious back story.  She’s sat with Alcide, who’s out on a date with Maria-Star.

Quinn loudly announces how he and Sookie were attacked by weres in the street, and sort of insinuates that since Sookie is a friend of the pack, it’s the Shreveport werewolves fault – if they weren’t directly involved.

Sookie and Quinn leave intact (miraculously) and they start sucking face in Quinn’s car. Classy.  Sookie gets a bit over excited, and decides that she doesn’t want to sleep with a man she barely knows.  That’s something I can respect her for; that while she misses having sex, but isn’t going to sacrifice her morals or sense of self esteem purely to get a easy lay.  Well done ma’am.

“Quinn! I’m not having sex with you in this nasty parking lot!”

“Not even a little bit of sex?”

“No.  Definitely not!”

“Your mouth” (here he kissed it) “is saying one things, but your body” (he kissed my shoulder) “is saying another.”

No means no, asshole. If she doesn’t want sex, then she doesn’t want sex.

After this little exchange, Sookie and Quinn discuss about which of them was the focus of the night’s attack.  Quinn doesn’t think the attackers are going to survive the night in jail, which is a pleasant thought to end the chapter on.

I don’t know how many of you are at all interested in my video channel, but as you saw yesterday, I’ve been hit by copyright infringement issues. I’m going to finish my season of reviews, then I’m hopefully I’m going to make the jump to blip.tv and post videos on this blog. I’m also going to launch a facebook page, that I hope you’ll like 🙂

Dottie Smith’s video channel – reviews, chat and snark. A hilarious feast for the family.

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