A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead as a Doornail’ chapter sixteen


Sorry for the blip in posts yesterday I had an ice cream tea party. Until about midnight. I have such a sugar hangover right now but it was so worth it.

Anyway, LAST CHAPTER TODAY. WE GET TO FIND OUT … MORE STUFF.

Wooo stuff!

Quinn took over the cleanup with the sure authority of one who’s supervised such things before.

Alcide was being comforted by Maria-Star Cooper, a young Were I knew slightly.

oh god

the fourth part of the test is coming up

According to [Patrick Furnan’s] body, victory had made him feel manly. Ick.

I became completely sober when the new packmaster’s wife led a young woman to him, a brown-haired girl who seemed to be in her late teens. The girl was as bare as the packmaster, though she looked considerably better in that state.

I realized Patrick Furnan was going to fuck this girl in front of us.

oh i feel bad

then there’s a bit where the wolves must pledge to the new packmaster and patrick makes to bite Alcide but doesn’t

the drama of it all

especially as Alcide is blaming Sookie for his father’s death (make sense of that as you can).

Sookie goes into work, because after witnessing murder, that’s what you really need. According to Sam she smells like a tiger. Quinn is a tiger. I am not making this up. Charles keeps getting phoned up by a guy who hangs up after he picks up. Sookie breaks her silver chain. I don’t know where this is going.

Bubba, that character I love so very much, shows up.

“Mr Eric sent me over here to tell you that he’s not what he seems.”

“Who, Bubba?”

“He’s a hit man.”

Bubba refuses to say anymore and just sort of runs off into the night. Charles comes out and is very surprised to see Elvis in the car park of some Southern bar. He’s never heard him sing.

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but before my words reached my lips I really thought about what the English pirate had just said, and the words froze in my throat.

Remember this chapter? Where Charles said he had worked in Mississippi? Where Elvis sang for them? WHAT IS GOING ON?

WAIT WHAT

CHARLES SHOT SAM??

HE LEAPS ON SOOKIE AND IS ALL LIKE I’M SO SORRY FOR THIS

SOOKIE STUFFS HER BROKEN CHAIN IN HIS MOUTH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ZUUL MOTHERFUCKER ZUUL!

THEN ALL THE MEN IN THE BAR HEARD HER SCREAMING SO THEY COME RUNNING THROUGH AND STAKE CHARLES AND OH MOY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S SO AWESOME

Then Eric comes into the bar. He was calling earlier because he was worried. And ought to have arrived before Sookie was attacked and got cracked ribs. Charles owed allegiance to Hot Rain, Long Shadow’s sire mentioned waaaay back in chapter three, and was sent to injure Eric the same way that Eric hurt Hot Rain – by killing Sookie.

He also tells her that he’s posing for a nude calendar. That’s a good point to end this book on.

What did I think of Dead as a Doornail? I loved it. Really, really loved it. It’s certainly my favourite one so far, and may be my favourite of the series. I don’t know why; there are the same problems in this book as there are in the others. However, the plot is much slicker than the previous books. There isn’t so much padding, and unlike the previous book, there weren’t too many subplots that distract the reader. This book was witty and funny, and a really good mystery.

Running totals

Body count: 76

Clothes porn count: 1544

Sexy times count: Remains at 14. I’m not counting leg licking as sexy times.

Dottie’s video channel, full of fun and snark.

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2 thoughts on “A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead as a Doornail’ chapter sixteen

  1. I have to admit to being sad Charles died. He seemed to be the only mostly not-douchey vampire in the series. I mean, I guess that was probably an act, but still. Charles seemed like good peeps.

    Also, doesn’t silver hurt the weres and shifters, as well as the vampires? I can’t seem to recall. Why didn’t Sweetie/Charles do some silver bullet type shenanigans for added impact? There is so much dumb going on in a community of people that are supposed to be experienced with conniving and plotting and whatnot.

    • Yeah. silver does hurt weres as well so…. Sweetie doesn’t have much of an excuse for not using it, unless seeing as she’s only a partial shifter she might not be fully in the know in terms of shifter lore.

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