Turns out that staying in the cleaning closet in Merlotte’s isn’t working out for Charles. Surprise surprise. He has to stay at Sookie’s now for reasons.
Tara and Mickey are in the bar that night which allows Sookie to ruminate on Tara’s one weakness: bad taste in men. After all, the last-but-one boyfriend of hers we saw was Eggs, the drinker who wanted to sleep with Eric. Luckily he died in a fire the previous autumn (not sure whether this happened with the maenad, as I am sure that he wasn’t burnt alive in that chapter). Franklin Mott, the vampire we saw her with in Club Dead, treated her more like a mistress than a girlfriend.
Sookie prevails on Tara to ‘Wake up!’. Yes, that’ll solve this. Mickey says that they aren’t paying her to bother his date.
“Tara is my friend. You’re doing something to hurt her. Or you’re letting someone else hurt her.”
“It’s none of your concern.”
“It is my concern.”
THANK YOU for listening to me Sookie. Now threaten to stake him and look really mean. You’re sure to save Tara!
Tara asks her to not be embarrassing in front of her boyfriend. Operation Save Tara has failed at the first hurdle.
Sookie and Charles drive home, after he asks some awkward questions about whether she’s sleeping with Eric. She goes to bed, only to be woken up later by Charles saying that someone is sneaking about the house.
Charles rushes outside so Sookie follows, worrying that he’ll cut a bitch.
Charles was in the gravelled area where I parked, and he had an elbow around the neck of Bill Compton, my neighbor.
Now kill him.
Sookie tells Charles to let him go. Charles asks her if she even knows this man. Seriously, go Charles at this point, he’s damn awesome.
“She does know me. Intimately.”
“Now, is that polite? I don’t go round telling everyone the details of our former relationship. I would expect the same of any gentleman.”
Bill then insults her by asking if she’s sleeping with Charles and tries to recover the situation by claiming he was concerned for Sookie’s safety before leaving. What an arsehole. Sookie goes back to bed, but someone else wakes her up.
“Sookie, your house is on fire,” a voice said.
“Couldn’t be,” I said. “I didn’t leave anything on.”
Claudine has come to the rescue. She slings Sookie over one shoulder and runs out the house with her. Claudine is seriously strong. They all stand around watching the house goes up in flames, because no one has thought to call the Fire Station – which means that Claudine runs over to Bill’s to use the phone, while Sookie runs into the house to get stuff. For reasons.
That’s pretty dumb.
“That was stupid,” said Claudine the fairy, and I shrieked.
She has to rescue her all over again, just as the volunteer fire service comes over to the house. Also Bill shows up again. I’m not that pleased about this development.
“Having one dead beau ain’t enough, Sookie?” Bud Dearborn asked me.
No, for the record. So there.
My home was going up in flames and smoke.
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