Every supe I’d ever met was in Merlotte’s.
Is this the long awaited return of that beloved gay cowboy of mine, the delightful Farrell?
It’s just a bunch of werewolves and the Shreveport vampires. I’m not pleased.
Everyone turns around to look at Sookie and Claudine because she’s dressed like a ‘scrumptious slut, super sized’. Claudine, not Sookie that. Claudine knows everyone in the bar because… because.
‘My girl, here – and Claudine inclined her head towards me – ‘fell asleep at the wheel. How come you aren’t watching out for her better?’
That improves my first impression of Claudine considerably. Thank you for calling out the werewolves on their bullshit Claudine. I’m still not overly keen on you, but it’s hard to name a character in this book that I am enamoured with.
Alcide asks Claudine who she is, so she doesn’t know everyone then.
‘I’m Claudine, the fairy.’
no seriously what she’s a fairy
i’m torn between that being super lame and super awesome depending on how Ms Harris handles it. You see, being someone who takes an interest in folklore and witchcraft, I have rather a vested interest in fairies. Fairies, in traditional European folklore, are horrible little shits that you never want to meet. They are cruel. They enjoy killing children for fun. They abduct husbands and exhaust them to death. They spread illness and kill livestock. They are not tinkly beautiful children that dance around saying ‘la-la-la’. They’re not even supposed to have a true human form, but a gross deformed one as they are supposed to be sort-of like demons.
Claudine seems to be tinky dinky happy go lucky twee and I’m sorry, that’s not a fairy to me. That’s a Victorian remnant that appeals to weird middle aged women who don’t shave and buy tacky statues of simpering children with wings for their homes. What can I say? It’s a pet peeve of mine.
It’s also annoying because Ms Harris has a real skill for creepy dialogue and she instead chose to make what ought to be something creepy and dangerous into something cutesy and annoying.
‘Thanks!’ Claudine smiled down at him. She snapped her fingers, and there was the same kind of haze around her that enveloped the Weres when they shifted. It was the haze of thick magic. When the air cleared, Claudine was wearing a spangled white evening gown.
I wrote down three things on my book upon reading this.
- why does she so this
- what point does it serve
- WHY WHY WHY WHY
Okay, so what’s actually happening in Merlotte’s? The weres and the vamps are having a pow-wow about how to stop the witches. The weres tried to track down where they came from, but the witches caught their scent or something. Everyone starts asking just why they’re so interested in getting Eric, which is something that I thought had been firmly established before – mainly that he was the richest supernatural creature in Shreveport and they wanted the money. Simple.
Apparently not. There has to be an added level to this situation for no particular reason. Go figure.
‘How much blood can be got from one of you?’
A quart is two pints of blood. That makes twelve pints. That’s not right. Pam works out that Eric has about ninety-six saleable units of blood. A unit of vampire blood can earn about $425 a vial, which means that Eric has a street value of over forty thousand dollars.
That doesn’t make any sense! The witches are offering fifty thousand dollars as a reward for a sighting of Eric. This doesn’t even get them their money back! And Eric is a wealthy businessman – he’s more valuable alive than being sold for blood money. That’s ignoring the fact that the evil witches are all blood addicts. Why would they sell the blood when they could drink it?
This doesn’t make any sense. Why has this plotline been added? What does it add?
Claudine also reveals that, tee hee, she’s been to the witches hangout and has never bothered to tell anyone until now. What the hell is up with this woman? What is wrong with her?
The only highlight of this is that Claudine apparently has a magnetic effect on vampires and all the vampires simultaneously try to drain her. They don’t succeed, to my dismay.
The weres and the vampires decide to start a war against the witches. A female were loudly declares that the vampires started it, and Sookie gets rather cross about this, proclaiming it isn’t true. Uh, to some extent it is, really, by killing that witch messenger, instead of killing them all in some subtle and sneaky way. This leads to them shouting things at each other, then Eric attacks the were, and there’s something about a blood offence so he’s not in trouble because ‘vamp humper’ is such a serious insult.
Then Debbie Pelt comes into the bar. Oh goodie.
Alcide had an odd expression on his face. It was as though he was simultaneously happy and miserable.
Debbie doesn’t do much, other than call Sookie a bitch when she goes. Oh well.
Eric and Sookie have a talk in the car on the way back home. Let me sum it up:
- Eric: blah blah blah werewolves hate vampires? blah blah blah you are amazing.
- Sookie: ‘I’m not trying to sound like I think I’m Poor Pitiful Pearl, but I don’t have a lot of fans, and I’m used to that.’
- ARGH ARGH ARGH
Sookie and Eric have some creative sex.
Eric then announces that he wants Sookie to be sort of like his wife.