Bill leaves a message on Sookie’s answer phone about how pissed he is about the situation. And he doesn’t have a message from Farrell. Does this mean he died? I hope not.
Oh, and Eric sort of breaks into the house. Yeah, I know, what about the invite rule? Well, he came round a month ago to visit Bill which was something that was never mentioned until now. Righto.
Turns out Eric has been to orgies before and is up to date on the proper etiquette. He also dressed from head to toe in shocking pink, wearing a tank top and lycra leggings. Um. Not sure how to respond to that. Doesn’t especially work for me but whatever floats your boat I suppose.
What on earth shall Sookie wear to the orgy?
But I couldn’t find anything more informally sexy than shorts and a tee shirt. However, the shorts were some I had left over from my junior high days , and they encased me ‘like a caterpillar embraces a butterfly’, Eric said poetically.
‘More like Daisy Dukes,’ I muttered, wondering if the lace pattern of my bikini underwear would be imprinted on my butt for the rest of my life. I wore a matching steel blue bra with a dipping white tank top that exposed a lot of the decoration on the bra. […] My tan was still holding up, and I wore my hair loose.
Eric then proceeds to note that he and Sookie have the same colour hair and to check her armpits, saying ‘you silly women, shaving your body hair’. Um, what? Why did you say such a thing? As a student of women’s history, I can tell you that throughout pretty much all of human history women have been getting rid of their excess body hair. Hardly a new thing I’m afraid you loony viking.
Sookie tells him that she has no intentions in getting intimate with any of the people at the party. There’s a very interesting point when she admits that she’s absolutely terrified of becoming a victim again. She’s rather die than be subjected to abuse again. It’s an interesting look into her psyche that is not continued again in this chapter.
Oh I don’t want to write about an orgy full of middle-aged fat people.
so eric and sookie suck face so she’s like in the spirit and then they are let in by jan fowler who is described as looking a bit like a transvestite, but hey, it’s her party she’ll dress how she wants to and then sookie sees that eggs and tara her friends she never mentioned are there and eggs is very into eric and tara doesnt want to be there at all 😦 and then are there a bunch of sex toys around the place and sookie is like ew and then mike spencer and the dinnerlady from sookie’s secondary school are there and they are covered in oil and then eric is misbehaving and someone is trying to get into sookie’s shorts and then she starts reading minds and mike spencer is getting off by thinking about killed lafayette with lunchlady’s husband tom and sookie freaks out and goes outside with eric and they start to make out on his car.
Phew. I don’t have to think about the orgy anymore.
And then Bill shows up. Just to make everything better. She gets upset about how pissed he is (Bill is always angry) and this whole delightful scene is broken up by the arrival of a very drunk Andy Bellefleur with a gun. Again, you really ought to have stricter gun control laws. All this fighting brings out the participants of the orgy. Andy attempts to question them and threatens Sookie with the gun.
You should have thought the plan through better really. Eric and Bill aren’t really helping much.
Then Sam shows up in his dog form. Andy refuses to shoot the dog. Sam is accompanied by the maenad. Oh goodie. She properly introduces herself this time. Her name is Callisto and she is rather interested in Andy, as he is drunk and she enjoys this. Andy asks her to find the people who killed Lafayette and she hugs the orgy people, sort of terrifying them to death. (She treats the death of Lafyette as tribute to her by the way, so the vampires needn’t have bothered to do anything.) She pours her madness into them and they die quite horribly.
The vampires set the house on fire to cover it.