A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Deadlocked’ chapter eleven


You may wonder why I was willing to eat in the kitchen where I’d just witnessed a violent death. The fact is, Donald Callaway’s demise was not the worst thing that had happened in my kitchen – not by a long shot.

….

I don’t wonder. I have read twelve books of your adventures and murdering Sookie.  I know exactly what’s happened in that kitchen. You don’t have to do these little asides to remind us. It’s book twelve. NO NARRATION THAT POINTLESSLY RECAPS.

Anyway, Sookie and Dermot are having a pleasant dinner in the room that has seen so much death, and he talks about how he has a date. Which is a terrible, terrible idea. As much as I adore Dermot, the fairy can barely operate in human company without doing some small thing that would elicit questions or fear. Dating is a stupid idea. So Sookie just encourages him and sends him on his way.

You need to think things through more Sookie. It’s like two steps forwards, one step back, constantly. After Dermot has gone, Sookie heads out with Jannaylnn’s jacket to Bill’s, but hesshows up behind her. He sniffs the jacket and it turns out surprise surprise, the werewolf had nothing to do with it. I mean, I was sure she must have been involved, considering the large lack of evidence they had for accusing her.

“You look unhappy,” Bill said.

They have a mediation moment and talk over the bits and pieces of the entire plot. I feel like pulling my brain out my ears. They talk about getting Colton out of Felipe’s hands and come up with a plan out of nowhere.  Honestly, it just happens and there’s no real build up to it. It just pops up and the reader is left in the lurch.

I stomped into my room and pulled on the blue “flirty” skirt, which began well below my navel and ended about two inches below my happy place. The “blouse” – and it was a blouse in name only – was white with red trim and tied between my breasts. It was just like a bra with sleeves. I put on white Nikes with red trim, which was the best match I had on my shoe rack.

No. Trainers do not go with this outfit. At all.

oh my god i just had that gif saved for no reason THANK YOU CHARLAINE HARRIS FOR PUTTING IN POINTLESS OUTFIT SEQUENCE

yeah, i have no idea why sookie just got changed into this. Literally no idea. She worries about being fat, Bill eye fucks her, and then they drive out to some hotel called the Trifecta. A vampire from Fangtasia lets them in the employee entrance, and OH they’re rescuing Colton. I get it now. They’ve disguised Sookie as the vampire waitress who let them in and they’re going to get Colton out the heavily guarded hotel! This isn’t a stupid plan at all! It’s not like humans breathe and stuff – they can perfectly disguise themselves as vampires amongst vampires!

Bill’s disguise is even better. It’s a big hat. Your powers of disguise amaze me Bill. Teach me the secrets of your wisdom!

The pair get into Colton’s room, and wouldn’t you know, the security guards suspect something is up. How on earth did they see through your brilliant disguises? Poor guards. They get beaten into submission by Bill and Sookie for the crime of doing their job. Colton is rescued, and at no point did I find it interesting or cared. Even a little bit. Not once. Charlaine Harris appears to have lost her gift to write engaging and interesting action scenes.

They sit around and congratulate themselves until some werewolves corner them. Warren, missing Mustapha’s missing friend, has been found dead. They need Sookie to identify the body.

So much for a happy ending.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s