Anita parks up the car, so I’m guessing that Edward quantum leaped during the events of the last chapter. Ramirez parks alongside her, and gets out with an Officer Rigby.
He was entirely too comfortable in his own skin, as if nothing bad had ever touched him. He lacked entirely that air that most policeman have of having been ridden hard and put up wet.
Isn’t the phrase ‘ridden hard and put AWAY wet’? And I never knew you can only become a police officer if you have undergone extensive mental and emotional trauma. Got it.
He looked older than I was, but his eyes were younger, and I resented that.
… what does that even mean? You have loads of wrinkles and you’re jealous? That he appears to have the eyes of a baby surgically implanted in his face?
Apparently, Nicky Baco – why are you calling him Nicky? – is suspected of plenty of murders, but nothing has ever been proven. He’s a member of a local biker gang.
ah, club. Biker gangs now preferred the more politically correct term of club, according to Ramirez.
Well, no, they don’t. A biker club is very different from a biker gang.
The club is called ‘Los Lobos’ which is HILARIOUS because a American Chicano band has that name too.
I hate it when LKH tries to be funny.
Anita walks to Baco’s… home? Business? I’m not sure. He’s in the middle of a spell, so she is struck with teh magics. Ramirez then exposits about the terrible crimes of Los Lobos. Guess what they do?
I’ll give you three answers and you try and work out which is true
1. Driving around, hassling ‘the man’.
2. Scatter sweets from their motorbikes wherever they go, spreading happiness and joy to all they meet.
3. Rape. Rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, they are bad guys so they like rape.
Anita and Bernardo try to go inside, but the police protest because… um, they might die? Rigby tells Anita something terrible about Los Lobos…
“In the world this gang runs in, women do not exist except through men.”
My frown deepened. “You’ve lost me.”
OH LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMAN IN THIS SERIES?
WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID
WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID
WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID
anyway, this means Anita has to go in with a MAAAAAAAAAN on her arm, and seeing as they police already weren’t going in, Anita prepares to go in with Bernardo. Like she already was. And now Ramirez thinks she’s angry with him and Bernardo is cool and Anita goes on about how she respects the police and why aren’t you just going inside the fucking bar. why can’t you solve this crime. why are we wasting time on this relationship horse shit?
Why was I always ass deep in male egos in the middle any any given crisis?
Because your author hates women.
Anita tells Ramirez that she wants to remind everyone ‘I’m a big girl’ – ick why do you insist on treating women like sexy children – and Ramirez says ‘Okay’, which is apparently what men say in lieu of apology. Oh, LKH, you great social commentator!
We then get a page on how using eeeeeeeeevvvvviiiillllllllll magic is a death penalty offence, something which has been part of the AB universe since the VERY FIRST BOOK. I know that this is the law in this world. It is a stupid law because some people just ignore the whole ‘trial’ thing, and just straight up execute witches. But that’s not all! When a witch has been executed without trial for the simple act of doing magic, their bodies are burnt, and their ashes thrown into running water.
That’s desecration of a corpse. It’s illegal, no matter how you swing it.
There are parts of Europe where it’s still legal to burn a “witch” at the stake. There’s more than one reason that I don’t travel outside the country much.
FUCK YOUR SANCTIMONIOUS FUCKING EUROPE HATING, GUN TOTING, MORONIC FUCKING PATRIOTISM
- You don’t burn a witch. You burn a HERETIC or someone committed of PETTY TREASON or a female COIN FORGER. You only burn a witch if her crimes intersect into THOSE AREAS.
- Why would there be parts of Europe that STILL BURN PEOPLE ALIVE? Oh, pot calling the kettle fucking black, your country likes to electrocute people alive! And that’s not even stepping into the institutional racism on death row!
- Yes, there are still countries in Europe which have laws permitting death penalty. But considering that most of Europe is in the European Union, they are forbidden from executing people – and even those who aren’t have laws specifically prohibiting legal executions. In fact, there is only ONE European country which still executes people, compared to OVER THIRTY US states permitting it. (The country is Belarus, and they are run by a brutal dictator. It’s a really awful situation for them.)
- Why are you portraying Europe as this fucking medieval wasteland? I mean, I’ve got a feeling of this throughout all the books. Coming from a country that can’t even afford decent medical care to the population, I get a distinctly xenophobic air from all this horse shit. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of European social politics! (Which do have their problems, I will admit, but most of them are a hell of a lot better than the shit I hear about American social politics)
- Of course, Europe is full of stuffy bigots who hate witches. Europe is full of stuffy bigots, that’s why they make great villains. Not like ‘Murica, which is a perfect wonderland of rainbows.
- LKH shows her utter ignorance for world politics with this statement. You already know that she is incredibly isolationist and limited in the scope of her literary works, refusing to even acknowledge that there is life and landmasses beyond the boundaries of the USA. You would not find people burning witches in Europe. Do you know where you still find people burning witches? Africa. In parts of central and southern Africa – again, not all, because it’s a fucking huge continent – there are still areas which hold disabled people to be witches. And will kill them. It’s horrible, but… it’s not very common.
- Is this a hangover from the Cold War? Hurr hurr those Russians are so backwards, unlike us in America. And yes, there are problems with the social policies of Russia, but the Russian people tend to be a lot more open minded and liberal than American propaganda would have you believe.
- ‘Parts of Europe’? Europe is a continent. There are at least FIFTY countries – and I say ‘at least’ because what makes your country a part of Europe can change depending on what the categories are – in Europe. Can you be more specific? You can’t just say ‘parts’. That would imply that it’s widespread throughout the continent, and pays no attention to individual cultures and responses to magic. Because IT’S FUCKING DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU GO.
- FUCK YOU.
- FUCK YOU.
- FUCK YOU.
- FUCK YOU.
It would be fair to say I did not like that paragraph.
Bernardo and Ramirez then death glare each other, which Anita doesn’t understand. Um, weren’t they really angry with each other because they’re competing for Anita’s affections and fighting over who can take her to the Harvest Ball? Ramirez then mentions that Los Lobos LURVE using knives, so they had better watch out.
Yeah, well, don’t get close to them then. Duh.
Ramirez then starts dumping MORE exposition on why the bar is called ‘Los Duendos’.
“Do you know that los duendos are?” Ramirez asked.
“Bernardo said it meant the dwarves.”
Then Bernardo is an idiot, because it means ‘the tame/ the domesticated’. And what happened to your quotation marks? Did they offend you by refusing to be used in your shitty book?
“But around here it’s folklore. They’re small beings who live in caves and steal things. But they’re supposed to be angels that got left suspended between Heaven and Hell during Lucifer’s revolt. So many angels were leaving Heaven that God slammed the gates shut and los duendos got trapped outside of Heaven. They were suspended in limbo.”
I can’t find any evidence of this. Admittedly, it was just a little google fu, but the only reference I can find is Mexico’s day to honour dead children – ‘little angels’. But I’m not sure how I can find the particular story, since LKH CALLS THEM ‘THE TAME’ AND NOT ‘THE DWARVES’. WHY DID NO ONE FACT CHECK THIS?
Anita contemplates going into the bar, and umms and ahhhhs and procrastinates for two pages of bland filler that goes nowhere.
To quote and overused movie line, I had a bad feeling about this.
I hope a wookie rips your fucking arms off.